Bouncing Back After a Setback

I have been feeling under the weather the last few days. I’m pretty sure I caught whatever my daughter and son had over the weekend. And of course, all of my normal daily routines went to shambles. I tried really hard to get myself out of bed and move, but my body aches and I feel like I’ve been run over by a bus. Needless to say, I’m writing this blog post from the comfort of my bed.

The truth is, when you experience a setback—whether it’s illness, failing at a task, or slipping back into an old habit—it can feel incredibly hard to reset and begin again. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that beating yourself up for having the setback in the first place is completely counterproductive.

We do our best to create systems and routines that help our day-to-day lives run smoothly. But life is messy, and sometimes those systems fail. We have to learn how to adapt and go with the flow. For someone like me, who thrives on change and novelty, flexibility is actually a strength. What’s harder for me is getting back into the routines my brain likes to label as “boring.”

Over time, I’ve developed a few simple life hacks that I often share with my coaching clients too—because yes, I struggle with the same things you do. These are tried and tested strategies that help me bounce back when life throws me off course.

Start Small

One of the biggest mistakes I see people make after a setback is trying to do too much, too fast. We become overly ambitious because we want to “catch up” immediately. But our brains crave simplicity.

Even the best ideas are more likely to stick when they are simple and manageable. I once heard someone say, “If you want to change the world, start by making your bed every day.” That advice stayed with me.

No matter how hard your day was or what went wrong, you can come back to a nicely made bed. It’s a small reminder that everything is going to be okay. To this day, I still make my bed every morning.

Focus on One Task at a Time

When you’ve fallen out of your routines, everything can start to feel scattered and overwhelming. And when that happens, many of us freeze and end up doing nothing at all.

Instead, focus on the lowest hanging fruit. Ask yourself: What is the easiest thing I can accomplish right now?

Start there.

Then gradually work your way up to the harder tasks—but only one task at a time. Every time you complete something, your brain gets a small hit of dopamine, which helps rebuild motivation and momentum.

If your house feels like a disaster, don’t try to tackle everything at once. Clean one room at a time. Close the doors to the other rooms if you need to. Narrow your focus and keep going step by step.

Don’t Try to Fix Everything in One Day

If it took a week to create the mess, it may take a week—or longer—to reset things again. That’s okay.

Putting pressure on yourself to “get it all together” immediately usually backfires. Your brain becomes overwhelmed, and overwhelm often leads straight into shutdown mode.

Give yourself permission to rebuild slowly.

Don’t Take Setbacks So Personally

Setbacks are part of being human. Life is not meant to be perfectly smooth all the time, even when you have great systems in place.

We are constantly growing, changing, adjusting, and learning. A setback does not mean there is something wrong with you. It simply means you are living a real life.

There is beauty in the unpredictability of life, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Speak Kindly to Yourself

We hear so much about having a positive attitude toward life and toward others. But having a positive attitude toward yourself matters just as much.

You do not need to shame yourself into growth.

Yes, maybe it feels like you took ten steps backward. But it’s okay. It happens. You can begin again.

The way you speak to yourself during difficult moments matters more than you think.

Find Humor in the Mess

Not everything has to be taken so seriously.

We don’t need to drown ourselves in shame or embarrassment every time we fall short of perfection. In fact, perfection was never the goal.

Progress is the goal.

Sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is laugh at ourselves, shake it off, and keep moving forward.

So the next time you experience a setback, remember this: you are not failing. You are simply learning how to start again.