Mother's Day

I would be remiss if I didn’t write a post about Mother’s Day. It goes without saying that being a mom is one of the most challenging, exhausting, beautiful, and rewarding things in life. This is especially true if you are raising neurodivergent children while navigating neurodivergence yourself.

We experience burnout more regularly than many neurotypical parents. We are already working hard to manage our own emotions, sensory overload, executive functioning, and daily responsibilities, and then we are also helping our children manage theirs too.

And of course, when your child tells you they hate you, says you are the worst because they didn’t get the toy they wanted, or insists that “you just don’t understand them,” it is hard not to hear that inner ADHD voice whisper, “Oh great, here is something else you are failing at. Parenting.”

I get it. We have all been there.

Deep down, we know kids will be kids and that we are not supposed to take those moments personally. We know we are supposed to stay calm and be a “sturdy pilot,” like Dr. Becky Kennedy says. We try to help our kids become comfortable being uncomfortable so they can learn emotional skills that many of us were never taught ourselves.

The truth is, we are all doing our best. Some strategies work beautifully, and others completely flop. Parenting is humbling like that. Having three kids of my own, I am definitely still learning every single day.

But there are a few things I have learned that have helped me, so I wanted to share them in no particular order.

• When your child is pulling you into a power struggle, try to walk away emotionally before things escalate. You do not have to keep engaging until everyone is overwhelmed. It is okay to pause, take a breath, and calm your nervous system first. Sometimes that simply means sitting quietly for a moment while your child is upset. That is okay, mama. You do not have to fix everything immediately.

• Learn to repair quickly and often. You are going to lose your patience sometimes. You are going to say things imperfectly. We all do. What matters most is showing your child that mistakes can be repaired with accountability, honesty, and love. A sincere apology goes a long way.

• If your child asks for something, try not to answer right away out of guilt, pressure, or impulsivity. It is okay to say, “Let me think about it and get back to you.” That small pause can save you from overcommitting and later disappointing both yourself and your child.

• Laugh often. Seriously. Some days, laughter is survival. Learn to laugh at the small mishaps, the forgotten lunches, the mismatched shoes, and the chaos that comes with raising kids. Your children do not need perfection from you. They just need you.

• Kids have a way of exposing every insecurity we carry. Stay gentle with yourself. You are not failing. You are learning in real time, just like every parent before you.

More than anything, remember how quickly these years pass. One day you are changing diapers and counting wet pull-ups, and the next you are watching them walk into high school carrying a backpack bigger than they are.

No childhood is perfect. I do not think any adult makes it through life without carrying some hard memories. But love, safety, connection, and repair matter deeply, and those things count more than perfection ever will.

Your neurodivergence is not something that makes you less capable of being a good mother. In many ways, it allows your children to grow up with empathy, flexibility, emotional awareness, and acceptance of differences in others. There is so much beauty in that.

So embrace your unique self. Give yourself grace on the hard days. And trust that your love for your children matters more than all the moments you think you are getting wrong.

Happy Mother’s Day. Whatever you are feeling right now, you are not alone in it. And you are doing better than you think.