Let ADHD Be Your Ally, Not Your Enemy

I was speaking to a close friend today about my recent ADHD diagnosis. Yes, I fall into the ever-growing circle of people who were never diagnosed as kids but received the diagnosis later in life after finding out their kids were diagnosed.

To my surprise, getting the official diagnosis didn’t feel as scary as I thought it would. If anything, it was a little freeing to know that my suspicions were right — my brain does work and feel different from others. But for the first time in my life, I was okay with it. I am okay being a little quirky, a little restless, and full of energy. It is just part of me, and I can’t imagine myself any other way.

In talking to my friend, he pointed out something rather profound. He said, “Lyubov, you have allowed ADHD to be your ally. You haven’t used it as an excuse. You haven’t blamed it for things that have gone wrong. You manage it, and you are full of life. Look at all you have accomplished. You would have never been able to do it if you didn’t have ADHD.”

For the first time in a while, I took a moment to reflect on his statement. And he was right. I didn’t know I had ADHD for most of my life, but I knew I wanted to accomplish things — and I did. Even when things were hard and I felt like giving up, I kept going. I kept innovating. I kept trying.

My curiosity about people and processes kept me motivated. My vigor and excitement for life kept my energy up and my spirits high. And when I look at some of my peers who also have ADHD, they are doing awesome too. They are showing up each day for their kids, their spouses, and their careers full of vigor and determination despite their challenges.

ADHD is not your enemy. It is just a part of you, and it helps make you awesome.

Oftentimes, I work with clients who feel that ADHD is their enemy. They feel less than, judged by others, and shamed. They live their lives anxious and depressed, numb to the pain of just existing because they are constantly fighting against their own brain. And you just don’t have to.

You can have ADHD and work with your brain instead of against it. You can choose not to judge yourself or others. You can have compassion for people instead of judgment. And you can be that positive force in the world, spreading your ideas in a helpful and insightful way.

ADHD is not the enemy. Thinking ADHD is the enemy is the real problem.

Embrace your neurodiversity. Love yourself — quirks and all. With benefits come challenges, but with challenges comes growth. Remember that when you are feeling stuck. Just because something is hard doesn’t mean it is not doable.

Reach for the stars. Your ADHD is your ally.